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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Finally, I broke free and made it to the park by the Han River. It’s my go-to spot for some peace. But guess what? There was a dog park event happening. Dogs everywhere! I’m talking about a full-on canine carnival. I saw this golden retriever trying to steal a hot dog from a kid. Hilarious! But then the kid started crying. I felt bad, but also kinda laughed.